Back on my high horse

I'll be taking my soapbox up to the saddle now.

I know it's annoying when people start a conversation by saying, "I hate it when ..." or "It's so irritating when ...," but in the spirit of L.A., the city of "me first," I offer up the other phrases I love to hate. My reasons aren't great, but they make Matt laugh.

• Take it to the next level. So exactly what's wrong with this level? What level are we on, anyway? How do we know what the next level is or we've arrived on it? This phrase should be banned for extreme vagueness.
• Step it up! (This one is often used interchangeably with "Bring your A-game," which is only slightly less annoying.) Only military COs should get to use this phrase. Otherwise I think of Jane Fonda in a shiny leotard. Shudder.
• As a human being, I ... Unless the speaker is channeling a turtle or a pickle, I think we can safely assume they are a human being.
• Irregardless. Not a word. End of story.
• Moving forward ... This phrase has become popular in corporate and education meeting rooms. It negates all that has happened until now, or suggests that the only course of action lies in change. I advocate for staying put in the present. I don't think movement is synonymous with growth. 

Yes, I'm fulfilling the English teacher stereotype. I can live with that ... until I'm ready to move forward by stepping it up to the next level. For now, let's hear it for the still.