Princess Melissa

When I was little, my brother Mike's favorite nickname for me was Miss Priss.  I can't imagine where he got such an idea. I never put my hands on my hips and bossed people around. Really. Never.

Many years later, I lamented one day to my other brother Matt (yes, we are the Alliterative Sibs) that I hoped to be a princess in my next life. "Are you kidding me?" he barked. "You're a princess in this one!"

Two realizations from my little stroll down memory lane: first, boys are stupid. Second, my princess days are officially over.  Here's my story:

In the midst of moving to southern California, I missed my six-month checkup at the dentist. Then I went to Africa, then Matt went to China, then I got a job, then I got super busy ... and suddenly, I was pretty overdue for bite wings and a prophy. I did what any reasonable person would do: I called my new insurance company and got the address for a dentist on my plan. I picked one close to our home, reasoning that since we live in a nice neighborhood, the practice would probably be reputable.

Now, I should back up and say that I've been spoiled for many years with amazing dentists. I liked my childhood dentist so much, I went to work for him as soon as I old enough to get a W-2. When he had the nerve to move to North Carolina, I landed at a wonderful practice in Maitland where my hygienist and I discussed our fitness routines and haircare products. Plus, she reminded me of my niece. Plus, Dr. Curly was just so nice.

So on Monday, when I was curtly shown to a gray chair in a gray room with cracked gray linoleum floors, it's no wonder I felt a bit adrift. What, no garden? No television set to the channel of my choice? No cute pictures on the ceiling to help me relax?

Most shocking of all ... my new dentist did not compliment me on my excellent flossing practices. And the final blow: no little baggie of dental goodies as my parting thank-you gift.

Matt's reaction to my woes?

"Huh."

Pause.

"Did you get a good cleaning?"

Boys are stupid. (And maybe I am still a princess.)